When I was young…


Who am I kidding, I’m still young.  But when I was a young server, and was green behind the ears, nothing bothered me, nothing, tables could ask me to come back fifty times, didn’t bother me.  They could bring in kids and not have any control over them, didn’t bother me.  Now that I am an old server, and sick of this fucking job here is a partial list of things that annoy me, in order of importance:

-Kids/parents in improper proportions*

-More than two people at a table

-When people don’t listen to me**

-When people ask me for something, I get it, and then ask me for something else

-When people aren’t ready to order when they say they are***

-When people order to fast (i.e. they start ordering before I acknowledge them)

-When people order for other people who are sitting right there****

-People who tip me less than I desrve

-People who tip me more than I deserve

-People who talk on their phone

-Mean fucking people

-Nice people who think they don’t need to tip because they are nice

-Big tables who can’t count (i.e. they say, we have 8, then 10 show up, then 2 more, then 2 more, then 6 more and before you know it all my tables are in one table, learn to count!)

-When tables that are not mine flag me down and ask me for something

-When someone touches me*****

That is a few for now, I’m sure I will add to it eventually.

*Poorly behaved kids require one parent per each child.  Well behaved kids require a half of a parent, or one parent per two kids.  Kid is defined by someone who can’t sit in a restaurant and behave with proper etiquette.  I know some kids who are 30.

**Classic example, I say “Ok, I will get you a soda and some ketchup, anything else?”  “Yea, can I get a soda and some ketchup?”  -WHY THE FUCK DO I EVEN TALK? or “Our soup today is cream of sum yung guy” next persons says “What are your soups?”

***Seriously, I have other fucking tables, if your not ready, say so, I’ll take their damn order…

****Do I ask ‘Does she/he want fries, vegetables or tequila with that?”  or do I ask the person who has to eat it?  Awkward!

*****I’ve only had one table touch me inappropriately, a guy grabbed me by the wrist once, and out of reflex I almost punched him, I hate that, I did however stare at my wrist in confusion, and he realized what he did, and immediately removed his wrist and apologized.  It was quite strange.

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~ by epiphron13 on May 6, 2010.

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